Just Don’t Bite

Being called something bugs me. Enough that I feel the need to press against it, oddly this is a trait that makes me very easy to manipulate. Negativity is something I seem to have in spades though, it’s been given as reasons for enough things that… well might just be right. It’s a hard thing to argue against really since the very act of doing so could be construded as negative.

While I might be wrong I think that people are naturally drawn toward the negativity of things. The Germans have a word for it schadenfreude, odd word really. I honestly think that people have a hard time with feeling a happines for others. Someone pointed out to me that the reason the news focuses on the negative is that it sells better. The fact this person is in marketing and is getting good enough grades to make a Deans list… well they might be right. However part of marketing is knowing what appeals to people, clearly the negative is what appeals to people.

So a line like “Don’t keep up with the Jones’ beat them” would appeal to that need in people.If by some manner you can convey that a person has greater value, or greater preceived value by their peer group, itappeals to that side of the ego that would cause impulse buys. Appealing to the Id, Ego, Super-Ego of people, knowing how to manipulate each one. But I’ve had that conversation with an amusing cat already.

Eh, I may be a negative person but I still smile when I get the forward of the polar bear playing with dogs. I enjoy the stories of good people. But it sickens me to see those things exploited. I do enjoy those stories, they give me hope. Thats all I need, a muse and hope.

Seems pretty easy to say in reality. Drug addicts do it at NA, alcoholics do it at AA. I guess it’s fitting I do it on the internet, as I’m apparently addicted to electronics and the internet. The weirdos at a treatment center will tell you that addiction has something to do with having a behavior that has negative consequences and yet you still engage in them.

Thats pretty simple really. I’ve spent entire nights and days stuck to a computer, working or playing video games. I’ve allowed electronics/computers and work to cause stress in relationships. I’ve come to depend on them to feel normal. I’ve gotten in trouble with them. I’ve broken laws with them.

It’s come up in thinking several times over the past month. Usually when I open my laptop  for the third or fourth time in couple hours. Why? Oh for nothing more than to check the news and my email. Given that the news don’t change that much and I really don’t get that much email, it’s kinda pointless. It’s terrible really. Falling asleep with the glow of a screen, or falling asleep on your keyboard.

Yeah, seems like a joke and all right? Wish it was, but it’s no surprise to me that they have actually started to notice that it is indeed something that people can become addicted to. There is however one thing that I will NEVER do. Online dating. Surprisingly though, both my Dad and Step-Dad have both done so and ended up married. Just so that we’re clear on this… crawling over broken shards of glass and hot coals while being violently violated so I could beg an ex for a chance would be more favorable than the concept of online dating.

Ehh I think my dog just farted.

Always thought it was a given that guys aren’t all that great at understanding girls. But who would have ever figured that someone would actually do a study on it and break it down math wise. Well someone did and made a nice little paper of it. Not to large of a read only about ten pages. Of course there is a little more to it. But like I said, I figured that was a given.

Girls, very simple. Use English to  get the point across. Tell the guy up front. Please bare in mind however though if your lips press against his. If body parts of either of you end up in the other persons mouth (tongue, finger, toes… I dunno). You’ve pretty much crossed the friendly flirting and gone to the “yes sex would be an agreeable activity”.

In other notes, if you ever get the bright idea to separate your car keys from your work keys before going and drinking for a night. Don’t. Just leave ALL your keys at home. Further more if you have a pocket full of quarters and you end up putting your keys with said quarters… check your piggy bank for your keys. You’ll feel like a moron, but you at least have your keys.

So this morning I get a little text that just says “Msn..” of course this is while I’m waiting for my machine to boot up anyhow. I tend to know a fair amount of interesting and twisted people, I very much enjoy random bs with them over messengers. Turns out it’s a little nicer than try’n to have the same conversations in a room or a crowded place.

After you hit the link to read more, that’ll be the bulk of the conversation. Some of the pointless stuff having been pulled out, other wise thats the conversation I had this morning. Anything in italics is notes done now. Names have been pulled so that people don’t get offended.

(continue reading…)

So while watching the Simpsons it was the episode of the Stonecutters. At the end they make the comment about “Only two members of this club have special rings” then Bart and Lisa blow these odd whistling rings. This sprang the question of playing a kazoo with farts. So off went a mass text that read.

Wanted: proof that the kazoo can be played with the ass. Anyone know?

Off to 20 people… and because I’m a klutz with my thumbs, it sent twice. Not to worried about it since messages do that sometimes anyhow. Well here’s the answers that I got back.

Try it
Lol… No i dnt knw bt thtd b funny as hel 2 c
I would think a good rip will get you a b flat
LOL OMG hun ur 2 funny. i love ya.
Sorry don’t know anyone that can do that. U gonna try it and let us all know?
How about someone who can kick their own elbow (this person meant lick)
The issue is that the part you blow through is the large side. And you have to hum, not blow.
I don’t have a kazoo but am willing to try.
Duh. You did
*****s pretty good at it (name redacted)
Dnt hav any! hehe
No i dont.
No
No idea

Thankfully I seem to know screwed up people that will amuse me.

I’d almost forgot about it. With as often as you hear of games being made and then scrapped, or that they have a long time until release, it happens. Anyhow Ghostbusters is going to be a video game, and I’d forgotten about it. I do remember hearing about it when the some demo on the 360 popped up and it looked like a Ghostbusters game, but it wasn’t. It looked a heckuva lot like it thought. Turns out it was just a tech demo and a different studio was making the game. Thankfully it will be launching on each of the major systems so I can look forward to it. If you’re curious or want to see a few more links by all means check the wiki on it.

I’m going to have to find my copies of that movie now, haven’t seen it in awhile.

So we all take pictures right?
**yes you all nodded didn’t you**

Do you know your rights when you take a picture? If you’ve ever stopped shooting when told to than I’m going to guess you don’t. Well please go read your rights and use them. Also extrapolate on them. Remember that if it can be photographed than you are IN PUBLIC and should you do something stupid you cannot relay on any form of privacy to protect you. Also the same rules would apply to cops. If it can be legally photographed you can be busted for it.

At the same time when dealing with pictures remember the license that you grant them. Please read the MySpace TOS, Flickr (pretty easy), or YouTube (tell me, a google gives a high SNR). Thing is, you should look at the liscense that you use to put you pictures on the web. Pick the one that is least restrictive and host there. If you must, host them your self. Hide the copy right using CSS. Don’t let yourself get sued because you used something that you shouldn’t have. Don’t let fear keep you from using something you could have.

“I don’t understand how ’survival of the fitest’ went to ’save the fat, dumb, lazy’.“- A buddy

He’s right though. How DID we go from survival of the fittest to protecting and prolonging the life span of the dumb and dieing. If you look at the rest of the animal kingdom you notice something that for the most part is normal among the. They let the weak die off. You don’t see a pride of lions keeping the old ones alive, you see the old one wonder off and die. Same way with the sick ones. They leave, and go die alone and in piece and don’t infect the rest.

Then you have us. the ‘intelligent’ beings of the plant. The ones that have become the top of the chain. We some how can’t learn this simple lesson from the rest of the animal kingdom. In our finite wisdom we have decided that we need to protect the stupid with warning labels. We need to protect the lazy with all forms to enable them to be lazier. The horrid twist is I’m typing this while finishing McDonalds and on the back of the fry box is this little icon that reads “it’s what i eat and what i do“. I’m sure there is a mess of phrases that you could add to that to make it funnier.

Simple fact of the matter is that we have gotten to the point that we reward laziness. That we reward stupidity. We really might be headed towards Idiocracy some day soon. Sad thing about that movie, I loaned it to someone. They watched about 10 minutes of it and couldn’t stand it because of the stupidity.

Humans, the only time we think it’s ok to kill is out of malice, anger, and spite. We seem to forget that sometimes it can be done out of love, care, and hope.

For some reason today there was a wealth of news about bio fuels and the “green nature” of them. Living in Nebraska you might think that I’d agree with ethanol. Sadly I don’t. Can’t say that I find it wise to trade our food for our fuel. Can’t say I agree with allowing lazy lardo’s to drive around while people go hungry. Or that food prices go up so our transportation costs stay low and allow us to be lazy pigs.

Since ethanol is a crop based fuel and further it is alcohol based you’re going to need water. Makes sense right? You have to water the crops. You have to use water to ferment the sugars and organisms to convert food to alcohol. I think that means yeast and it’s stripping of sugars for oxygen and the by product of that being alcohol is how that works. Then you need heat to drive the alcohol out of the water, and more water to cool and condense the vapors for collection. Some people aren’t so game for this, and would like to keep their water where it is.

The bio-fuel of using waste oil from fast food seems like a good idea too. Unfortunately it seems to have draw backs too. Honestly I think this one has a bit better use than the ethanol idea. Simply because it’s using waste products that are already being used. But it appears that it is just as polluting as using straight gas, so that’s really not a solution at all now is it?

Then you also have strange things like robust solar cells made of dyes. You could help a electric car with that, or provide n add on to your your house. Unfortunately it’s a long shot and will likely be expensive when it does happen. But imagine if we could some how coat just about anything with photocells. It’d be great, it really would.

In the end though, the best and easiest answer. Simply reduce your usage of energy and resources. I know it sounds hard, but it’s worth a shot isn’t it? What can it hurt other than your pocket book.

Several months ago a friend told me of a book. This book was a simple book. Small and brown, hard cover. The title “What’s your poo telling you“. I ordered it off of the Amazon. The Book arrived and I found it funny as sin. What’s not funny about poo? We all do it, most don’t like to talk about it. This is a book about it. A book you can open to any page and read the description and KNOW that someone else in the room has had that poo. That someone has experienced that feeling. The book spent some time in the bathroom as reading material. No it sits on my table and is picked up and thumbed through by damn near anyone that comes over. Never fails to get a laugh.

Now if you don’t think I’m serious about this book and that it is actually a good read for you, Salon has a nice 2 page jot of the book. Along with a video of “man on the street” questions. So i encourage you, the next time you go and drop a deuc to look before you flush. When you take the cosby kids to the pool, check on them before you leave. When the brown bear has left the cave, take a look and make sure he is healthy.

Seriously… look at the crap that comes out of yer butt and make sure it’s ok and there are no issues. Your health will thank you for it.

Things to note:

• Blue food coloring will make yer poo green.
• Fire Hot Cheetos  will give you red tinted poo.
• Spicy food might give you burning poo.
• Keep your diet in mind when looking at it.